


Solid Ground Below (A Hand To Hold)

by ladylookslikeadude



Series: Ad Astra Per Aspera [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fake Marriage, Jealousy, M/M, Meddling Family, Mentioned Padmé Amidala, Mutual Pining, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25682692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladylookslikeadude/pseuds/ladylookslikeadude
Summary: Cody and Rex's meddling results in Kix staring down a mission with a potential fake marriage with General Agen Kolar-who Kix happens to have a ridiculous crush on.  As it so happens, Kix's crush may not be as hopeless as he originally thought.
Relationships: CT-6116 | Kix/Agen Kolar
Series: Ad Astra Per Aspera [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868728
Comments: 14
Kudos: 193





	Solid Ground Below (A Hand To Hold)

Kix only kept his face blank from long practice of dealing with Jedi Shenanigans. “You….want General Kolar and I to pretend to be married,” he repeated carefully, trying desperately to not show how much he wanted to strangle someone. 

General Skywalker smiled and nodded brightly-and for Force’s sake, did he actually just _bounce_ on his _toes?-_ as he said, “Yeah, Cody said you and Master Kolar would be the best two to handle it, and Rex agreed.”

Kix allowed himself the luxury of closing his eyes in pain. Cody and Rex. Of course. Of _kriffing_ course. Those two couldn’t keep their noses out of everyone else’s business, could they? But before Kix could property articulate why this was a _terrible idea_ , General Kolar stepped up beside him and offered a warm look. “I agree, I think we can handle it.”

Kix swallowed back a curse. Of course he did. At this point, if Kix didn’t know better, he would think that this was all an elaborate plan to get him to finally lose his mind-or snap and end up with his wrist broken for trying to _touch_. It was a terrible idea. So, of course, Kix managed to muster up a thin smile and say, “Of course General, I’m sure we’ll manage.”

Kix kept tight control of himself throughout the walk to the medbay, forcing himself to chat casually with Agen until the other man dropped him off at the medbay with a promise to speak more at the late meal. When he was finally alone, Kix dropped his head down onto his desk with a pathetic sounding groan. “This is _such_ a bad idea,” he muttered, grimacing down at his desk before shoving himself back up with an irritated huff.

The next time Rex stuck his nose into Kix’s medbay, life was going to become very uncomfortable for his Captain. And a quick message to the 212th medic meant that Cody wasn’t going to be having a very good time either. He might not actually like Kix that much, but he would make sure that Cody knew why he was about to be in the med bay a lot more than the Commander would prefer. Medics had to stick together after all. Otherwise the rest of the clones, and their Jedi, would try to run roughshod over all of them.

Kix smiled in vicious triumph when he was messaged back with a quick confirmation. It was a short message, but not outright vitriolic, which was downright sweet and apologetic for that particular vod. A shiny poked his head in, saw the smile on Kix’s face, and actually squeaked in alarm. Kix fought the unseemly urge to _cackle_ , and instead stood to begin the first of many physicals for the newest batch of shinies.

By the end of his shift, Kix had sufficiently terrified the shinies during their first physicals enough that he was _almost_ relaxed. He was at the very least relaxed enough that he didn’t even get irritated when Agen came by the med bay to go eat the late meal with him. 

Agen hesitated after they had gotten their food before saying, “Kix, if you’re uncomfortable with this mission, you can tell me and I’ll make it clear to Skywalker that it won’t be happening. There are other options we can explore.” There was an odd expression on his face that Kix couldn’t quite place, but it was obvious that he was entirely serious about what he was offering.

Kix bit back a sigh, because first of all, was he really that obvious? And second, the thought that General Kolar would go to bat for him about this was not helping his huge karking crush at all. “No Sir, I’m not bothered by the mission.” It was a lie, of course, but duty came before everything, including feelings that he couldn’t untangle.

Agen continued watching him for a moment, his expression searching, before he murmured, “If you’re sure Kix. But if that changes, I hope you’ll let me know?” But something had relaxed in his expression.

Kix offered an easy smile. “Of course General,” he lied.

Agen paused before snorting a bit, an amused gleam in his eyes. “I never knew you were such a terrible liar,” he said.

Kix shrugged a little bit. “Only when I don’t need to be good at it.” Admitting he trusted General Kolar enough to not try and lie well to him was probably a mistake, but Kix was very very good at blaming his stupid decisions on his very stupid crush, so he wasn’t worried about that.

“Ah,” Agen said expressively, and his expression warmed as a smile threatened at the corners of his mouth. “I appreciate that then.” He paused. “And I believe you should get used to calling me Agen, since calling me General would not be an option.”

“And calling you Sir would give the wrong impression entirely,” Slipped out of Kix’s mouth drily, before he froze in horror.

General Kolar-Agen, Kix reminded himself firmly, ignoring the swooping in his stomach from being permitted to use his first name-froze as well with a small noise of surprise, his eyes widening as he stared at Kix.

“Um. My apologies Gen-Agen,” Kix corrected himself quickly. “That...sort of slipped out,” he admitted sheepishly.

“No apology needed.” Agen waved that away,a small, amused smirk now beginning to form. “Besides, I like to think that it means you’re getting more comfortable with me.”

Kix offered him a dry look. “There’s nothing like pretending to be married to get comfortable with someone I supposed,” he deadpanned.

Agen cocked his head before leaning in, “Kix, I was hoping you-” But he was interrupted by General’s Skywalker and Kenobi slamming their way into the mess, arguing about-something. Kix couldn’t even tell what, at this point. Agen grimaced. “Excuse me Kix, I need to nip that in the bud.”

“Good luck,” Kix said mildly, the look on his face saying very clearly ‘better you than me’.

Agen grimaced a little. “I’d say I don’t need luck when I have the Force, but when I’m dealing with those two I’ll take every bit of luck I’m offered.”

Kix tipped his head back and laughed, bright and amused as Agen made his way over to the arguing Jedi.

“Things look like they’re going well,” Came Rex’s teasing voice from behind him. 

Kix turned and _smiled_ at him, relishing how he immediately went three shades paler. “Rex, what _excellent_ timing!” He said, making sure that he sounded thoroughly delighted.

The dread building on the other Trooper’s face was delightful. “Excellent timing for what, exactly?” Rex asked warily.

“Your yearly physical, of course!” Kix said with entirely inappropriate enthusiasm.

Rex narrowed his eyes. “I already got that done almost two months ago.”

“Oooh,” Kix sucked in a breath between his teeth. “ _Did you?_ That’s a _pity_ vod, because I don’t have a record of it.” He bared his teeth in a vicious famiscile of a smile at his Captain. “And you know how the senate is about their records.”

Rex winced a little bit. “Will it make it any better if I tell you this was all Cody’s idea?” He offered weakly.

Kix saw Agen turning back towards them from the corner of his eye, and carefully kept an easy smile on his face as he said, “Not a chance vod. General Skywalker threw both of you under the speeder on this one.”

Rex cursed, low and vicious, and Agen let out a small noise of surprise as he came up next to them. “Is everything alright Captain?” Agen asked, watching the two of them curiously.

Kix carefully tipped his head away from Agen so he couldn’t see his face, and he gave Rex the most menacing look he could manage. Rex offered him a dark look back before telling Agen, “Everything is just fine General.”

Agen eyed the two of them curiously, but offered a nod of acceptance before turning to Kix. “If you’d like, we could retire to my room and decide exactly how we want to handle this mission,” He suggested, a small smile touching the corners of his mouth.

Kix offered a quick agreement, and Rex offered him a mocking kissy face once Agen turned away. Kix gave Rex a sharp punch to the shoulder as he passed, before pasting an innocent look of confusion on his face when Agen turned sharply at Rex’s small yelp.

Agen paused, eyed them cautiously, and then made the wise decision to turn around and carry on walking without saying a word.

Kix narrowed his eyes at Rex and hissed, “Remember vod, I still have to do your physical at some point.” He lengthened his stride to catch up with Agen, offering a small, polite smile when the other man looked at him askance. 

“Everything ok?” Agen asked after a moment, his voice low and unusually hesitant. 

Kix frowned, because there was something other than genuine concern or curiosity in that question, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was the same as that odd expression on Agen’s face earlier. Familiar but not easily recognizable for Kix. “Everything’s fine,” he said evenly. Seeing the displeased look that flickered over Agen’s face he felt compelled to add, “I was just reminding Rex that he still owes me a physical.”

Agen frowned. “Didn’t he already do that a couple months ago? I thought all of Torrent Company did that at the same time.”

Kix clicked his tongue and offered him a mischievous look. “ _Did_ he? It’s a pity, I must have lost the record. And you know, like I told him, the Senate just loves their records.”

“I take it he did something to irritate you?” Agen asked drily, his lips twisting in amusement.

He eyed the zabrak with a small smirk. “I don’t know why you would say that,” Kix said mildly. “I’m just following procedures on this.”

Agen typed in the access code to his room, stepping aside to allow Kix to enter first. “If you say so,” he murmured with amusement.

Kix offered him a wicked grin. “I can’t help it that Rex is negligent with his health, General! And as his medic, I’m obligated to make sure he’s taking care of himself,” He laughed.

Agen shut the door behind them and leaned against him, humming thoughtfully. “ _Are_ you _his_ medic?” He asked quietly. His dark hair slid over one broad shoulder as he tipped his head curiously, and Kix swallowed, looking away.

“I’m sorry General, I don’t understand what you mean,” Kix said quietly, because Agen _couldn’t_ mean what Kix was thinking. “I’m the medic for the 501st, I’m everyone’s medic.”

The Zabrak pushed off of the door, stepping a little closer. “I thought we agreed you’d call me Agen,” he reminded Kix mildly.

“Right.” Kix swallowed again. “Agen, of course. I apologize, that will take some getting used to.”

Agen smiled at him then. “Well, it’s good that we’ll have time for you to get used to it then.” He brushed close by Kix, taking a seat by the small desk and gesturing for Kix to take a seat on the bed. Kix barely managed to tamp down on the small, desperate noise that wanted to tear itself out of his throat. 

He couldn’t lie to himself, he had absolutely hoped that working closely with Agen would nip his crush in the bud, but it was obvious that he’d been entirely incorrect about that, judging from his own reactions from just this small amount of closer, almost intimate contact. 

Pretending to be married was definitely not going to make this any better. Kix wondered for one desperate moment if he could pretend sudden illness to get out of this-but no, for all that Rex and Cody were being huge pains in his ass over this, it was a legitimate mission and he wouldn’t shirk that just because he was being pouty over his crush.

Agen leaned forward, and Kix couldn’t help the way that his breath caught again. The room was larger than what the Clone Troopers would receive, but still small enough that Kix felt crowded in the best of ways when Agen moved towards him. 

Kix coughed a little bit, embarrassed when he saw Agen’s smile as the Zabrak watched him. “Um, you wanted to talk about how we were going to handle the mission, right?” Kix asked hopefully.

“Do you need something to drink?” Agen returned, entirely solicitous. “You seem to have a little bit of a cough.”

“No thank you,” Kix said politely, working hard to keep his embarrassed flush suppressed enough that it was mostly unnoticeable on his dark skin.

Agen continued crowding into Kix’s space. “Are you sure? You’re looking a little flushed sweetheart.”

Kix couldn’t keep the strangled noise smothered this time, his eyes wide. “I-Agen? _Sweetheart_?!”

Agen’s smile widened. “Jedi don’t typically marry, but I do believe that spouses typically have little pet names for each other, correct?”

Kix gave up on any semblance of composure, slumping down and burying his face in his hands. “I’m going to die,” he muttered to himself, before wincing and hoping that his words had been muffled sufficiently by his hands. Judging by how Agen’s smile had shifted into concern and how he was now leaning back to give Kix space, he would say they had not been.

“Kix, all you ever have to do is tell me I’m making you uncomfortable and I’ll stop what I’m doing immediately,” Agen promised, his dark eyes serious. “I would never want you to feel obligated to allow me to do anything because of my position, or because of this mission.”

Kix paused, hesitating. He knew that Agen wasn’t lying. If he said that he was uncomfortable in any way, Agen would put aside the almost flirting he had been doing, and they would focus on an entirely professional discussion of how to handle pretending to be married. Or he could be brave for once in his personal life. Before he made any decisions on that, he had to know. “Why did you say it like that?” He asked.

Agen frowned a little. “I’m sorry? I’m not sure what you mean,” he admitted.

“You split it up,” Kix said, frowning before expanding on that. “You said you didn’t want me to feel obligated due to your position, _or_ due to the mission.” And maybe Kix was reading too much into it, but he didn’t think so. Not with how Agen had been acting since the moment they had stepped foot into his room. 

Agen watched him for a moment, considering. “I don’t believe I’ve made it any sort of secret that I want you,” he said finally. “I won’t lie, I was hoping to use this time to see what you thought of me, and see if you would be…” He hesitated for a moment. “Amenable to an attempt at a relationship, I suppose. But as I said, I would never wish to make you uncomfortable, or for you to feel pressured in any way.” He grimaced, turning away. “This was probably a bad idea,” he muttered.

“Probably,” Kix agreed, “Although not necessarily for the reasons you’re thinking right now.”

Agen shifted forward, his dark eyes moving back to Kix. “Why would you say that?”

Kix let his lips twist in amusement. “So, the reason I’ve been so pissy with Rex? He and Cody absolutely set this entire thing up for me to have to do something about my huge karking crush on you.” He offered a dry look. “And no matter how this ends, they’re going to be _insufferable._ ”

The Zabrak sat back, honest surprise on his face. “You’ve never given so much as a hint that I’ve caught,” he murmured.

“Well, of course not.” Kix was almost insulted. “It’s inappropriate, and I have more self control than that. You’re a General, and I’m a Clone Trooper, it’s not…” He trailed off, because the look on Agen’s face wasn’t one Kix ever wanted to see aimed anywhere near him ever again. It set off every single flight or fight instinct in his body, even when he knew it wasn’t necessarily directed at him.

“I’ll be honest,” Agen’s voice was far more calm than the dangerous expression on his face. “The last thing I want to hear to talk about right now is how inappropriate you believe your feelings are.”

Kix frowned. “It’s not-the fact I have a crush isn’t inappropriate. What would have been inappropriate would have been doing anything to bring it to your attention. You, General Skywalker and General Kenobi have all been fantastic to us, and we’d never want to do anything that would lead to you being removed from command,” He explained with a small shrug.

“Why say something now then?” Agen asked lowly, eyes intent on Kix. “What makes it less inappropriate to you now, as opposed to then?”

“You brought it up first,” He said easily, his answer immediate. “You brought it up first, so you obviously don’t believe that it’s as inappropriate as I thought, and I’m willing to follow your lead on that.” Kix gave him a curious look. “I thought that the Jedi weren’t supposed to have attachments though?”

Agen smiled a little. “Relationships aren’t necessarily attachment, not the way Jedi see them. For instance, if you and I were in a relationship, duty would come first, no matter how much it frustrated either of us. I can’t imagine that you would ever put me before your duty, and I’m sure you understand that it would be the same for me.”

Kix stared blankly. “So wait, General Skywalker and Senator Amidala…” He trailed off. He knew, as well as every other clone trooper who spent more than five minutes with Anakin, that he was married. He also knew that the other Jedi were aware and waiting for him to finally tell them. But any clone who tried to say anything was immediately cut off and redirected, so eventually they had all decided to wait until the Jedi said something.

“They’ve both proven, more than once, that they can put their duty over each other. Once Knight Skywalker _finally_ deigns to tell us, the High Council will be more than happy to give their blessing,” Agen said drolly. 

Kix hesitated for a long moment, unsure if it was his place-but they were being honest with each other, and he hadn’t been chided yet for speaking of things above his place. “I think he’s scared,” Kix murmured. “I’ve heard him mention several times to the Senator that he would be kicked out of the Order if anyone found out he was married.” Anakin was never as careful as he thought he was.

Agen looked astonished. “He-what? I don’t...I’m sure Obi-Wan has explained the rules of attachment to him. I _know_ he has. How could Skywalker _not_ know?”

Kix offered a small, baffled shrug. “I couldn’t say General. I know _I_ was under the impression that relationships were forbidden, but I’m also not a Jedi.” He offered Agen a wry smile. “Most of my knowledge of the Jedi ends up being related to combat abilities.”

Agen nodded almost absently, still looking entirely confused. “I’m sure that’s the case with most of the clones,” he murmured. “I just-I can’t wrap my mind around Skywalker not understanding that relationships aren’t forbidden.”

“I wouldn’t think about it too hard,” Kix said, a bit amused and entirely exasperated as he considered the situation. “He probably ended up distracted by fifty other things when General Kenobi was trying to explain it and only ended up hearing about half of what he should have.” He had seen it happen far too often in briefings to be surprised that it was a lifelong problem as opposed to something new. 

Agen huffed irritably. “I’m sure,” he muttered, reaching up to run a hand through his long hair in frustration. “Well, I’ll speak with Kenobi and Skywalker about it later,” he decided. “I’m far more interested in speaking with you- _about you_ \- tonight.”

Feeling shy was not something that Kix was used to, but it was a struggle to not duck his head once those intense eyes were focused on him again. Agen looked considering for a moment before offering him a hand. Kix eyed him curiously before accepting it and pulling himself up. Agen tugged carefully until Kix was right in front of him, and then he placed his hands on Kix’s hips and gently urged him to straddle his thighs.

Kix sat carefully back on Agen’s knees, completely aware of his burning face and the way that his hands threatened to tremble as he placed them on his own legs, unwilling to touch when he hadn’t been explicitly invited to. “This is new,” he said, fighting back a wince at how rough his voice was.

Agen smiled at him, carefully sliding his hands up and down the outsides of Kix’s thighs in a motion that would have been almost soothing if Kix wasn’t so wound up. “Is this ok?” He asked. “Remember, if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, all you have to do is say something.”

Kix cleared his throat. “This is fine,” he said, careful to keep his voice calm even as heat coiled in his stomach. “You said you wanted to talk, right?”

“Yes, of course,” Agen said quietly, still stroking the outsides of Kix’s thighs. “I suppose I want to make sure that I understood you correctly earlier.” He leaned forward a little, catching Kix’s eyes as his hands stopped moving. “You said you were _Captain Rex’s_ medic, Kix. I want to know exactly what you meant by that.”

Huh. So apparently Agen had, in fact, meant what Kix had thought by that. “All I meant was that I’m his company medic, Agen.”

“Are you sure?” Agen asked. “I want you to be very certain on that Kix, because I don’t like sharing, and I have no intention of doing so, even for Captain Rex. And you two seemed _very_ close earlier.”

Kix felt those large hands flex slightly on his thighs, and the reminder of how much stronger the Zabrak was mixed with the realization that Agen was _jealous_ , caused a swooping feeling in his stomach, like he was falling without any safety gear. “Rex is my friend,” He said, choosing his words carefully. “He’s my brother and I love him, but there’s no attraction there on either of our parts. As I said earlier, he and Cody specifically set this up for me to either do something about my crush, or get over it. There’s nothing between us, not like that,” he promised.

Agen’s hands slid up to settle on his hips, fingers digging in slightly. “Good,” he murmured, tugging Kix closer until they were pressed chest to chest, close enough to feel every breath the other took. “Good,” he repeated, “Because I want you.”

Kix’s next breath was shaky, and he couldn’t help but reach out now, carefully placing his hands on top of Agen’s. Agen hummed a little, tugging him impossibly closer. “I want you,” he repeated again, “And I want to hear that you want me too Kix.”

“I want you,” Kix said quietly. “Of course I want you.” He looked away. “I just-”

“Look at me,” Agen said, a new edge to his voice as his hands tightened on his hips. Kix turned to him in surprise, and Agen’s smile was sharp, a little dangerous. “I don’t want you looking anywhere but me when you’re on my lap Kix.”

Kix frowned, tilting his head a bit. “Ok,” he agreed slowly. “I’ll do my best to not look away.” He paused before making a face. “I’m going to feel like I’m trying to stare you down,” He said drily, “And it’s going to be extraordinarily awkward for the both of us, I hope you know.”

A small laugh slipped out from Agen’s lips, tension that Kix hadn’t noticed releasing. “Yeah, that’s probably fair.” His hands relaxed on Kix’s hips, and he leaned forward, lips brushing against Kix’s ear as he murmured, “I’ve just wanted you for so long that I want your undivided attention while we _have_ that option.”

“I get that,” Kix said. “And I’ll keep my attention on you right now.”

Agen smiled at him. “Thank you, it is very appreciated.”

There was a moment of silence that threatened to turn awkward, and Kix made a choice. He carefully slid off of Agen’s lap, gratified that the Zabrak immediately released him. He then reached down and offered Agen a hand. Agen took it, looking at him curiously as he allowed Kix to pull him to his feet. 

Kix smiled and said, “I want you more than anything, and I think you should take me to bed. Now.”

Agen was no fool. He took that demand and met it, happily allowing Kix to pull him down onto the bed.

The next day, the mission had miraculously imploded and was no longer necessary. Somehow, Kix was less than surprised. Rex was still going to have to get his new physical though. Just as a reminder to mind his own business.

**Author's Note:**

> It has been literal years since I've posted any sort of fanfiction anywhere, and we can all blame blackkat for this one. But I had a blast writing it! It is complete as of now, although I may make a follow up oneshot given that I gave hints of a fix it in this one. We'll see on that.


End file.
